Hiding and Seeking

Hiding and Seeking... It's what I seem to be best at doing lately.  Minutes roll into hours into days into weeks, and they are flying by like a movie with the fast-forward button stuck 'on.'   I'm seeking answers to hard things in this life, and at the same time, I'm hiding so I don't have to know.

I find it easy to get caught up in the busy, to just merely function without having to think much.  I get filled with the noise of every day just so I won't have to feel where my heart is.  Even though I live as an adult, and I certainly see one when I look in the mirror... when I'm in my quiet, I'm still a shy, scared little girl looking out the window, waiting for life to be whole and good.  Forever.

I bury myself in the treasure of a book, so I can be taken far away to a different place... at least for a little while.  Then I find something else to hide behind. Or stay away from.  And sometimes the sheer exhaustion of balancing has me drifting off to sleep whenever I just stop moving.

But I've always believed there is good in everything, whether we see it right away, or years down the road.  And so it goes with hiding, too.  Because even in the hiding, there are moments of seeking in the silence, when those scary scenarios slowly creep in.  And though they are not on the forefront of my thoughts, they are nonetheless churning within, finding resolution, giving silent direction on which way to proceed should they become reality.  The mind is awesome.

I love the beautifully complicated way that God designed us... giving us the ability, with His direction, to be prepared for the forks in the road, whether we're aware of that preparation or not.  When the time comes, the fear will be put down, buried in the dust of the past.  And we will step in to the new day.  For all it's worth.

Be blessed in your new days.

Cheri ♥