Dancing on the Breeze...

I was laying yesterday, in the quiet silence of early evening, looking out over layers of treetops and beautiful blue sky.  There were so many shades of green dancing in the hot evening breeze, each layer of tree reacting differently to the swirling air currents.  

The lowest of the trees were most affected with what seemed a hurried response, nothing rhythmic or smoothe, like they were caught and couldn't decide which way to go.  The middle trees were in constant movement, but in a poetic sort of way... not too fast, not too slow.  But it was the top trees that had me mesmerized....

The furthest and tallest of the trees were rocking gently back and forth, as if rocking a baby in their branches, ever so softly, with wisps of warm currents washing over and around and through.  It was here I kept my focus.  

With thousands of thoughts and words making so much noise inside, I sought the comfort and quiet of these branches as they cradled and whispered their songs.  That place where it's safe to truly rest.  And be me.  Or at least, try to figure out 'me.'  My spirit was calm.  

Although the thought of being carried off by the breeze and dancing in the sky was quite enticing.   ♥

Be blessed, truly and deeply.

Cheri  ♥

I Don't Understand...

I don't understand evil.  I don't want to.  I don't understand hatred.  I don't want to.  I don't want to understand why they exist, or why they have to be such a big part of this world.  I don't understand why someone who is unhappy thinks the answer to that unhappiness is in hurting others.  Wouldn't it make more sense to just pack your bags and leave?  Go somewhere new?  Start over again?  How can anything... ANYTHING... be so bad in someone's life that they believe the answer is in lashing out at others?  Innocent others?  Beautiful, loving, dearly missed others? 

It's so senseless... 

And later, is there remorse?  Is there shock and disbelief at the reality of what they've done?  Or are these untrained, mind-controlled, robot-like souls really believing it's all a game?  That when the show is done, everybody gets up and goes home?  Like on TV?  Do they believe there are "do-overs?"  Do they understand the meaning of real?  Or final?

We need to get hold of our children's minds, and not let them be formed by the media, or video games, or gangs from the dark side.  We need to put God back into the family, God back into the schools, God back into the training of our children.  Let me re-phrase that:  We need to LET God back into the family, LET God back into the schools, LET God back into the training of our children.  He is here... we've just closed the door on Him so we can go about our busy, schedule-filled days of earning money to buy things we think we need, filling every moment of every day with non-essential things, running in a million directions at once, fracturing the family  -  the one true strength God designed for us.  And all the while, the devil is dancing with glee...


I am so disheartened these last few days.  Rest in peace, you dearly loved children of God.  I will pray for your families, and for the monster that sent you Home too soon.  ♥

Cheri  ♥

Taking Chances...

I spend a lot of time alone.  I don't mind it, as it gives me time... Time to think, time to listen, time to just be.  My mind swirls with thoughts of hopes and daydreams of things that may never come to pass.  And of words spoken that came and went.

At times, I think of nothing and everything, not focusing in any particular area, but just letting all that's inside rush around me, like soft, swirling wisps of warm air that touch me lightly, wrap around, and dissipate just as quickly as they came.  Today has been one of those days.


I am so thankful for my life, even with all the bumps in the road that I've had to climb over.  All those struggles have continued to shape my thinking, put things in perspective, and make me who I am.  And I don't feel like God is finished with me yet.

I have always been quiet.  I was shocked many years ago when I ran in to an old high school classmate and she shared something with me on who she thought I was back in the day.  We ran in different crowds at school, but for reasons other than what she thought.  I was very shy and never felt quite good enough.  I ran with a crowd who accepted me for who I was, and even there, I was a quiet follower.  I rarely ever let anyone into my life other than superficially.  There were only a handful of souls who really knew me, knew my family, knew about us growing up in an alcoholic home.  You have to hide things there, act normal, pretend you're not affected by those things that happen in the wee hours.  But you are.

Laura, Sherrie, Bill, Rob, Dawn, Doug, Roy...  That may be the list of the only ones I ever let in  -  most of the way.  It's still hard to feel safe at being exposed.  However, lately that fear is being outweighed by the possibilities of joy and love that I've seen and experienced.  I can't even begin to explain the peace that has emerged when I've let the doors to 'me' open, even just the tiniest crack.  

We should all want to be a friend, to share joys and sorrows, to laugh and cry together, to build each other up, and when needed, to hold each other up.  We need to let go of the fears and take chances.  Yes, the possibility is there that we can be emotionally hurt, but that in itself will help us to grow even stronger, too.

I'm finding comfort in reconnecting.  Or rather, connecting.  I like the smiles and happiness that fill my heart when I do.  People have so much joy and strength to give.  I have a hard time feeling worthy of receiving, but am working deeply on this flawed thinking.  At least I know it's flawed thinking, and that's a start.  Words cannot express the gratitude I've felt from the people that are in my life these days.  My cup runneth over... ♥

Thank you.

Cheri ♥  

Inner Quiet...

Today has been an 'inner' day for me.  A quiet day.  I was busy, worked 8 hours, talked here and there.  But quiet.  Mostly on the outside though.  Inside, there are hundreds of thoughts floating in and around each other looking for a place to land.  I don't really want them to land right now.  I don't feel strong enough to take a stand or make a decision.  I just want to keep listening and observing everything going on around me.  I want to remember the beauty in the things I see and the joy in what I hear.  I just want to pick out those parts and store them for future use.


I have a lot to say, but not out loud right now.



Be Blessed :)

Cheri ♥

(This post was from 7-17-12, but was misplaced from a sudden power outage.  Still in the "quiet" today, so I thought I'd share it anyway.)

Holding On to the Days

I disappeared for a little bit.  Not on purpose, but life gets busier than you expect it to be sometimes.  It starts turning in different directions that you find you have no control over.  And when that happens, in the long run, you know it's for good.  But that doesn't make the journey any easier.

Some people who are dear to my heart are moving away... My daughter and her family.  I find myself looking at them deeply, intensely, studying every feature.  I am trying to absorb all the smiles that make me smile, and the feel of their soft touch.  I want to remember the smell of their skin, and the gleam in their eyes.  I need to be so saturated with them that I can recall the memories all in an instant when I close my eyes... when I miss them so badly that my heart hurts.  I am staying happy and positive, but it's so hard to hold back the tears... they flow freely when I'm in the quiet.

Infectious laughter.  Pure joyful laughter.  That's what will get me through.  It's what my daughter is filled with.  And her daughters, too.  They can lift my burdens and carry me to happy places with the rejoicing in their voices.  I can actually see the joy on their faces and the love in their eyes, and I feel the warmth of honest love in their touch.  What a blessing, what a legacy, to leave.  I want to be a person like that...

Cheri ♥

Silenced...

Today I am silenced.  Not on purpose, mind you.  On the inside there are a million thoughts churning all at once, all day long.  But none is stronger than the other, and none are rising to the top.  It's a "deep" day. 


This morning at church the Pastor said, "Your failures have not removed your possibilities."  I know that truth, but I don't think I've allowed it to seep into the "deep" yet.   I'm working on it.  Thus all the churning.  And silence.


I know I'm not alone in this thought process.  It's scary to believe you have worth when you feel you don't deserve it.  Why does this happen?  Was it something that was said when we were young?  Was it making a wrong decision and not believing there could be forgiveness?  The Pastor also said, "In compassion, God says to us: 'I don't see you as a problem.  I see the problem as OURS.' "  I will remember this.


It's time.  I click my heels together and slowly whisper, "I do believe...  I do believe..."


Have a blessed week, and know that you are SO loved.  No matter what.

Cheri ♥

Peace...

My Hubby and I stumbled upon this creation on a walk in the woods recently.  Some creative soul thought to decorate the path with this natural art, and I must say, it put a smile in my heart.

"Peace."  Sometimes so elusive, but in reality, it surrounds us.  We just have to look a little harder some days.  There are times I need to be in 'quiet' so I can reconnect.  With myself.  With the world around me.  I need that peace to calm my soul, to give me a heart to hear more clearly.  I need it.  Other days, strong days, I can just tune out everything around me and find another kind of peace.  I need that one, too.  But mostly, the quiet works best.

I wish you Peace wherever you may find it.

Cheri ♥

Ready, Set...

Well, there's no time like the present.  The only way to get going is to start, so I start as a toddler learning to walk.  I needed an outlet that wasn't trapped between pages, where I could learn and share and grow.  I want, no, I need to set my inner artist free... she has been struggling to escape for many years now.  She was pushed aside by life.  It happens.  But she took so much of me with her when she went into hiding.  There is room once again, and I want to be filled.

So today, I have invited her back.  I am starting on this journey of self-discovery, and I hope you'll walk by my side.  I don't like to be alone.  Well, I know I'm never completely alone, as God is always in and around me, guiding each step if I'll only listen.  But I long to share the gifts He's given to me, and I long to learn from the gifts He's given you.

It's a beautiful 100 degrees here today!  It is a very hot one, but it is a day that we're all still able to share in, and we have much work to do.  Even though I may not know you well as of this moment, I hope that will change.  I look forward to our journeys together. :)

As for the name "Lifesongs and Lace?"  Each moment, each sight, each sound, each memory burns a song of this life into my heart.  Thus, "Lifesongs."  As for the "Lace"  -  I am a very hard worker, no matter the task at hand.  And whether I'm re-roofing a building, painting walls, moving furniture or fixing broken trinkets, I am still all girly-girl and love to dance and laugh and have fun.  Life is too short to be all curmudgeonly, so I choose instead to twirl in JOY!

Be blessed!

Cheri ♥